📅 Thought for today:
‘Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.’
— Neil Gaiman
#thoughtfortoday #death #friend #love #memories #legacy
Being assertive is not easy.
In fact, the word is sometimes used to describe aggressive behaviour.
Assertive means “being able to stand up for your own or other people’s rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive or passively accepting ‘wrong'” (source: skillsyouneed.com)
If something feels wrong, being able to say so, and say how you feel, is a positive step.
It starts to go wrong when we move from how we feel to what we think is the cause, the reason, or the behaviour. And then it goes further downhill hill when we fix “someone else’s problem”.
Yet being assertive takes courage, to overcome anxiety. Third-party observers say things like, “Just tell him” with little understanding of the fear of consequences.
Helping someone find their own voice, in their own way, is tremendously useful, but telling them what to do is not.
If you have had to overcome your anxiety to be assertive, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.