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šŸ“… Thought for today:

ā€˜I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.ā€™

— Peter Ustinov

#thoughtfortoday #friends #friendship #choose #liftup #putdown #used #BetterFriends

As I follow The Artist’s Way the question comes up, “Who really lifts you up, and who puts you down?”

Who indeed?

When you take a step back and think about friendships and how they affect you, it can be a bit sobering.

Not for the first time, I think about this, yet each time I do, a new clarity emerges.

And at the same time, I ask myself, who do I lift up and who do I put down?

Yesterday a friend reviewed sample chapters from my forthcoming book, and the words really lifted me up in a very insightful way. This was no insincere platitude, it was an honest reflection on how the writing made them feel, fed back to me in a way that was both affirming and genuinely useful (a minor edit/addition ensued).

Yet I can also think of people who have some time and effort in telling me my plans, hopes and dreams are a waste of time and slowly but surely I have distanced myself from them (and I don’t mean social distancing).

Many years ago I worked with someone who became a friend who talked about “social cleansing” although in her case it meant expunging ex-boyfriends from her Facebook friends. Now I find myself mentally doing this – choosing who to spend time with intent and purpose – and I don’t mean just for my benefit.

I would like to be a friend who supports and lifts up his friends, and I will always try harder at this.

The acid test for me is this. Do I look forward to hearing from, being with, or supporting this person? And vice versa.

Because frankly, if the answer is “no”, then ask I ask myself, why give the time?

Some friendships stand the test of time very well, and I think it is all about how you make each other feel.

(Yes, that is my school photo from about 1969, I remember most of their names, I wonder where they all are now?)

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